


Part-Time Lawyer

by KennDemon



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Courtroom, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Lawyers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 04:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10801971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KennDemon/pseuds/KennDemon
Summary: Geoff shares the story of how he met the crew's lawyer.





	Part-Time Lawyer

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time sharing something with original characters, and I'm kind of nervous about it. Please let me know what you think.

“Hey, Geoff?” Mica leaned against the kitchen counter, staring across the room at her crew boss. “Where did you meet your lawyer?”

Geoff stared into his morning glass of whiskey. The ice clinked, and he smiled at the memory. Thomas had been his lawyer on retainer for a while now, but he could remember the day they met like it was yesterday.

“Where else?” He said to Mica, taking a sip of his drink. “At the bar.”

* * *

 

It was right after the most ambitious heist Geoff had ever planned. Looking back at it, the plan had been crazy. They had barely gotten away from the cops, and Geoff was paranoid that they would somehow track them down and arrest his crew.

Jack said he was crazy, and that he needed to relax. She had suggested that he go out for a drink. He had, always ready for alcohol, but had gone to a new bar instead of his usual.

The bartender was a nice man who knew what he was doing. It didn’t take long for Geoff to be sitting with a nice glass of expensive whiskey on the bar in front of him. He downed it like a shot and gestured for another one.

“Rough day?” The bartender asked, pouring the drink.

Geoff grunted in response. Then he sighed and downed the second drink. “I think I might need a lawyer.” He said, trying to joke about the worst case scenario playing out in his head. “Don’t suppose you know anyone.”

The bartender paused with the bottle of whiskey half tilted to pour Geoff a third glass. “As a matter of fact…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “I happen to be a lawyer.” He chuckled nervously as he handed the card to Geoff.

Geoff looked at the card. The man’s name was Thomas Douglas, and he was a criminal layer. For a moment, he couldn’t believe his luck, but then he remembered that the man was pouring him a drink at a dusty bar, not sharing a drink from the stool next to him.

 _Any good lawyer wouldn’t need a second job._ He thought. Still, he tucked the card into his back pocket and took the drink Thomas poured for him.

* * *

 

Lucky for Geoff, he didn’t end up needing a lawyer. The cops never came knocking, and eventually he managed to forget his fears. He even got to work planning the crew’s next big heist.

He had all but forgotten about the bartender trying to make it as a lawyer.

“You really should eat better.” Ryan commented one morning, pushing Geoff’s whiskey glass away and placing a bowl of bran flakes in front of him.

Geoff glared at the bowl before shoving it away. Since Ryan was still looking at him, he didn’t reach for the whiskey immediately. Instead, he turned his attention to yesterday’s mail which still needed to be opened.

“Shit.” He breathed, noticing that he had a letter from the Los Santos Sheriff’s Department. He opened it and read the letter quickly. “Shit!” He exclaimed again, slamming the letter down. He reached for his whiskey and took a large sip.

“What is it?” Ryan asked, reaching for the letter.

Geoff wiped his mouth and glared. “Jury Duty.”

* * *

 

Naturally, as a criminal mastermind and leader of the most notorious crew in the city, Geoff used a lot of luck pulling off heists.

Which meant that he had no luck with the rest of his life.

He was picked for the jury.

The case was a serious one, too. A young woman was on trial for murdering a cop. At first, Geoff thought she had probably been framed by a gang. But then he saw her for the first time.

Her name was Rowan Sherwood, and her first day in court she showed up dressed like a hooker and wearing a cat mask.

Okay, in all honesty, Geoff’s first thought when he saw her was that she must somehow be related to Ryan. He started thinking about whether or not to take this seriously and make a decision based on the evidence, or just vote not guilty out of loyalty to the criminal world.

Then he got another surprise.

“Thomas Douglas, for the defense.”

Geoff stared wide eyed at the defense lawyer. He was in fact the bartender who had given Geoff his card. After his surprise passed a little, Geoff smirked. Now he would see how good a part time bartender could be in a court room.

The judge called everything together. “Would the defendant please rise.” She said, turning her attention to Rowan. Her eyes grew wide in surprise. “Would the defendant please remove her mask.”

Rowan didn’t move, even when Thomas nudged her.

The judge slammed her gavel hard, and the sound echoed through the room. “Would the defendant please wake up!”

Rowan jumped and turned her head wildly. “Wha—Huh?” Thomas whispered something to her and she took off the mask. “Sorry.” She said, getting to her feet.

The judge was frowning at her. “How does the defendant plea?”

“Not guilty.” Rowan stated confidently. “It was self defense.”

A murmur rippled through the crowd of people in the room. From where he sat in the jury box, Geoff smirked. This was going to be an interesting trial.

* * *

 

As the trial progressed, Geoff became impressed by Thomas.

He painted a picture of Rowan as a down on her luck prostitute, which allowed Rowan to plead the fifth when she was called to the stand.

Thomas pointed out the city’s crime rate, and how dangerous it was for a woman of the night when she was at work. He explained that Rowan, like many young women, carried a gun for protection.

“In conclusion,” Thomas said to the jury at the end of the trial. “While on her guard at work, my client saw an intimidating man running at her with a gun. She feared for her own safety, and shot the man, not realizing he was a police officer chasing down a different criminal.”

Thomas took his seat and the jury was tasked with deliberation.

Geoff realized that it didn’t matter what he had decided at the beginning of the trial. He had to vote not guilty, because Thomas had convinced him that it was very likely Rowan had just been defending herself.

Don’t get him wrong, he also doubted the tale. Rowan reminded him too much of Ryan for Geoff to see her as an innocent prostitute. He had a feeling that she was somehow involved in criminal activity.

It didn’t take long for the entirety of the jury to come to a verdict of not guilty. Geoff was impressed, Thomas knew what he was doing.

* * *

 

Geoff waited three days before going back to Thomas’s bar. When he walked in, Thomas was talking to two people seated at the bar. Geoff smiled when he recognized one of them as Rowan.

“He was amazing.” Rowan was saying to the young man sitting beside her. “I swear, you could get away with murder as long as you’ve got Thomas as your lawyer.”

The young man took a sip of his drink. “Isn’t that what you did? Get away with murder?”

“Allegedly.” Rowan stated, winking.

Thomas laughed and turned away from the two of them. He noticed Geoff approach and smiled. “Back again?”

Geoff nodded and Thomas took out a bottle of whiskey. Geoff nodded again and Thomas poured him a glass.

“I have a job offer for you.” Geoff said, taking a seat.

“So you did end up needing a lawyer?” Thomas studied him for a moment. “Didn’t think they’d let someone be on a jury if they were being charged.”

Geoff waved his hand dismissively, not caring that Thomas recognized him from the courtroom. “I need a lawyer on retainer.”

“Ooh.” Rowan breathed. Geoff could feel her eyes on him. “Big shot CEO?” She guessed. “Make some shady business decisions lately? Got a son who gets himself in trouble a lot?”

Geoff felt a little ticked. “How old do you think I am?” He asked, turning on her.

Rowan shrugged and took a sip of her drink. “40.”

Geoff was hurt, mostly because she had guessed his age right. He turned back to his drink so that she wouldn’t see.

“Rowan.” The young man sitting beside Rowan said slowly. “Give it back.”

“You’re no fun, K.” Rowan pouted. “Here.”

Something slid across the bar and tapped against Geoff’s glass. He looked and saw his own wallet. “What?” He picked it up and turned to Rowan, only to see her grinning at him.

“Sorry.” The young man, K, said, leaning around Rowan to smile apologetically at Geoff. “Rowan is a bit of a pick pocket.”

Geoff didn’t know what to think of that. He just shook his head and turned back to Thomas. Thomas was giving him the same apologetic smile. “Sorry.” He said, jerking his head at Rowan. “She’s like family, so I can’t kick her out.”

Geoff sighed and downed the rest of his drink. “What do you say about my offer?”

“Well…” He drew out, thinking. “I do have a few conditions.”

* * *

 

“We’ve got ourselves a lawyer.” Geoff said at the next crew meeting.

“About time.” Michael said, kicking up his feet.

“What did you offer to pay him to get him to represent us?” Jeremy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Standard fee.” Geoff explained. “He just had a few other demands.”

This got everyone’s attention. “Like what?” Jack asked cautiously.

Geoff grinned at them. “We let Rowan and the boyfriend into the crew.” He had already told them all about Rowan, and how he had been considering inviting her into the crew anyway.

“Rowan’s got a boyfriend?” Gavin asked, surprised.

Geoff shook his head. “Not Rowan’s boyfriend, Thomas’s.”

It was Ryan’s turn to raise an eyebrow, only visible because Geoff insisted he take his mask off at meetings. “The lawyer’s gay?”

“Is that a problem?”

Everyone grinned and shook their heads. Geoff knew it wouldn’t be a problem, since each one of them fell somewhere on the rainbow spectrum.

He was glad to see everything work itself out.

* * *

 

Mica stared at Geoff. “You’re kidding, right?”

Geoff smiled and sipped his drink. “Nope.”

She shook her head, incredulous. “I thought it would be something dumb, but that is just… just…” She threw her hands up, at a loss for words.

**Author's Note:**

> Thomas and K are my own characters, while Rowan belongs to Hollow_Eve.


End file.
